Episode 2: The Land Before Time

Hi, kiddies! Remember me, the person who posted that lame-ass Portal fanfic? That wasn’t very good, was it? Well, considering what I’ve stumbled upon this time that little vignette is going to seem very soothing indeed. I, for one, started clawing at my eyes and pleading for a Code Beige. What I got was beaten severely about the head and neck by someone with a personal vendetta against my childhood.

Remember ‘The Land Before Time’? That movie with the dinosaurs looking for The Great Valley? Littlefoot’s mother died and you cried. Yeah, you remember that. What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think of that movie? Perhaps you think of simpler times with a smaller more innocent you sitting on the floor in your socks and pyjamas, eating cereal straight out of the box, and watching the flickering screen from the safety of your pillow fort. Or, if you’re more like me, you remember watching the movie and wishing you were a dinosaur so that you could trample the non-believers beneath your mighty feet. Either way it’s a source of fond memories, unless the movie immediately makes you think of rape. In that case you’re pokeplayer984!

On a slightly sober note, Pokeplayer, I am sorry. I don’t know what happened to you or why you hate this lush and beautiful world of ours. Whatever it was, consider us square. I speak on behalf of all the peoples of Earth. We are sorry. Please, do not release a weapon of this calibre again.

Title: Ducky’s Torture

Synopsis: The story opens much the way you would expect a ‘Land Before Time’ fanfiction to open (provided it’s not on a furry website). Ducky, the swimmer, is sleeping soundly nestled atop the armoured back of her adoptive brother Spike. Aw, childhood memories! Alas and alack, this is not to last for long. Ducky (yep, yep, yep!) is snatched up by some unknown assailant, her bill held shut to prevent screaming. If you don’t like where this is going then, brother, you are not alone.

So, the abductor takes her to a remote cave and slaps her around a bit. Yeah, keep in mind that this is a dinosaur we’re talking about. He tells her that he has a little problem that needs taking care of. Now one begins to suspect that this guy is not exactly on the level. He tells her just to be quiet, lie still, and everything will be over soon. Oh yeah, and if she tells anyone then he’ll murder her whole family. THIS IS THE WORST BOOK REPORT I’VE EVER WRITTEN!

The he rapes her. Yeah, that happened. It’s described roughly from Ducky’s POV so it sounds like we’re seeing this through a very young child’s eyes (yup, yup, yup!). She’s, naturally, exhausted after such an ordeal and falls asleep in her rapist’s arms while he assures her that she’ll feel fine the next day and be happily returned to her family. The story ends on a decidedly ominous note calling the experience ‘the beginning of her pain’. I shudder to think what might have happened had Pokeplayer decided to continue this little... story. I feel bad calling it a story, it seems wrong. I like stories.

What Made It Godawful: Well, seeing my childhood effective penetrated by dinosaur cock pretty much describes the horror I witnessed here. That sums it up pretty well. Ducky’s childish ignorance, the constant descriptions of sensation, the blood and cum seeping out of her... parts. I weep, internet, I weep.

What Made It Awesome: It was all based on a dream. No seriously, that’s what it says in the author’s notes. Most of us, when we have dreams like this, drink heavily and tell no one. Maybe someday, in a moment when we’re held tightly by someone we truly love, we let slip that once we had a dream where Ducky from ‘The Land Before Time’ was raped. Then, of course, we weep while our lover whispers soft condolences to us and strokes our hair. Pokeplayer chose not to keep this a dark disturbing secret but unleashed it upon the world to wreak bloody chaos. I find this impressive. Frankly, I also find it impressive that someone had the testicular fortitude to write this without vomiting on their keyboard. I’m certainly due for a new one after all the MANLY TEARS I shed on mine.

Rating: I’m going to give this one a solid Gibbering Madness. I’m not okay with this. I am an open minded person and, hell, I’ve read some non-con that I liked. This I do not like.

Best Quote: “However, that moment of relief was short lived as the stranger’s appendix was pushed once again into the area between her legs.”

At least it’s kind of funny, you know, in a ‘Your sister Sandy died tragically in the desert’ sort of way.

Worst Quote: "Only a split second after the pressure had left did she feel something else. The feeling seemed to come from the area near her stomach. It felt like something was rapidly hitting the inside of her."

I'm really sorry, I think that this may have driven me insane. Can she feel sperm swimming inside of her? Is that what this wacky bastard is driving at? I have no idea and I pray I'm wrong. Let's move on, shall we?

Link: DO NOT CLICK HERE!

Final Words: I was, for a moment, reluctant to post this. First because it’s so soon after my flagship post and second because I genuinely fear I may never top this. Then I remembered two things. I’m awesome, I can post what I want when I want. Also, this is the internet. This is the home of ‘My Immortal’. I can find much worse than this. In fact, I’ve already found something and I don’t even have to touch the cesspit of Harry Potter fanfiction. Next time I’ll do another summary but, perhaps soon, I’ll try to write and MST. MSTs are harder but much funnier. Tata for now!